The Heart Is Blooming With The Body
A revelation about ovulation…
This is a very real and authentic piece on the reality of being a woman. And I am single. So this must also pertain to married women. These 13 years of “not yet” have forced me to slow down and confront every single strand of my will power. Because none of it works against the loving plan of the Lord. This is the one area I have found that I cannot simply “speak something into existence” or “humble myself enough so it will come.” I have labored and worked the ground of my soul till it has felt dry and scorched, only to find out that there were seeds far deeper, ready to be nurtured.
My soul longs for something I do not have, and yet, spring is closer to me than it ever has been before. Even in the height of all of my friends getting married. Those days felt like prison some moments and they were. But something I cannot unlearn is that when we are chaotically chasing a false god, we will be closed up for a while until the affection of our heart points North.
Our love is not cheap. It’s incredibly complex, costly, and intertwined into our whole being. Our nervous system, our brain chemistry, our emotions, our immune system, our organs and our reproductive systems all carry the currency of true love. A love that overcomes all trials and is separated by neither height nor depth. We cannot jump or run or climb or speak a word without it affecting the way we love and are loved.
So from this understanding, our physical systems must reflect something greater than just biology. Each month, my body reminds me that it is time to create life. It opens up and flourishes with the movement of the earth and the heart beat of our Creator. It blooms and releases the power to help create life. It stirs up the longing for connectivity and transformation…
And I am single.
Something greater must be happening than a physical desire for a man and procreation. There must be something inside of me that is pushing me to bloom and unfold for something deeper than a physical awakening. What I see now is simpler than I thought.
My entire being was skillfully designed to bloom for a Great Love. For my senses, my mindfulness, my creativity, my physiology, and my spiritual heart to open to a reality that is not of this world. My body was tailored to synchronize with this Love that is freely flowing throughout the entire earth. It’s original resting place is from above, but is now centered and grounded in the temple of my heart and body. Of course my systems would align with this Great Purpose.
What we feel each month is the pursuit of that fresh stream in our cyclical desert. The exact moment of open heartedness that cannot be blocked by other physical factors. The natural process of letting go of the unknown, and picking up the Tenderness that was in the original, thoughtful design of our humanity.
Find your body again and find your heart. They are molded together for a Great Purpose. Do not be dismayed by your circumstances. Love is your companion. It always was and always will be.